Why men date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause heartache, and other problems. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married woman.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your family or anybody else? You would need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, huge in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.